Widowed: From emotional loss to financial crisis

When Juliet Scheer’s husband died unexpectedly, she faced more than just grief.

The Washougal resident said her husband had handled the mortgage, paid the bills and managed the lion’s share of the couple’s finances. Scheer hadn’t seen the need to establish much credit in her own name.

Then, after his death, Scheer had to learn to manage the family’s finances for the first time and faced a difficult discovery.

“I learned that I didn’t have a bad credit score. I didn’t even have a credit score,” Scheer said. “I had nothing.”

Scheer found herself in the same position as many widowed women. According to 2024 research by Thrivent, 52 percent of recently widowed women felt unsure how to handle finances after their spouse died.

As households navigate high housing costs, inflation and rising everyday expenses, the death of a spouse can quickly turn emotional loss into a financial crisis. In the national survey, 70 percent of respondents said they were concerned about becoming the sole financial decision-maker or keeping up with bills.

Although Scheer received life insurance benefits, she suddenly had to learn how to build credit, borrow responsibly and manage bills and other financial responsibilities on her own.

So she walked into Gesa Credit Union in Vancouver for guidance. Scheer said she eventually built her credit score into the mid-700s with the credit union’s help. The experience gave her confidence, but financial experts say couples should take steps early to make sure a surviving spouse doesn’t have to start from scratch.

Regardless of gender, a 2024 study from the National Financial Capability Study found that 46 percent of respondents could not answer basic questions about financial literacy, such as investments, stocks, debt or mortgages.

“You don’t need to know everything. … Very few of the financial decisions that need to be made in a crisis really need to be dealt with immediately. The biggest thing is having enough knowledge to keep the lights turned on and keep the roof over your head and food on the table,” said James Rothwell, a vice president at Gesa Credit Union.

He offered this advice:

• Know the household’s financial picture.

Rothwell recommends that both partners know where bank, retirement and investment accounts are held, what debts they have and what bills need to be paid each month.

“Everybody needs to understand at least broad strokes of their finances,” Rothwell said.

A 2024 AARP study found that 1 in 7 married Americans don’t know how much debt their spouse has.

• Build credit for both partners.

Rothwell said if one spouse has established all the household’s credit, the surviving spouse could have trouble qualifying for loans or other financial products. He recommends finding ways for both partners to establish credit, including joint accounts when appropriate.

“My recommendation for most married couples is that they find ways to figure out joint credit. Having people on the accounts together really does ensure that both parties are getting credit,” Rothwell said.

• Share financial responsibilities.

Even if one person handles the day-to-day money management, Rothwell said the other should know the basics of accessing accounts, paying important bills and handling other financial tasks.

A study by the global wealth management company UBS found that only 1 in 5 couples make financial decisions together.

• Know where important documents are.

Make sure both spouses can easily locate wills, trusts, insurance policies, account information and other estate-planning documents, Rothwell said.

• Talk about what happens if one person dies.

Estate planning and regular financial conversations can help families avoid scrambling for information during a crisis, Rothwell said. A study by the Journal of Financial Therapy found that married people were the least likely to talk with their partner about finances, compared with people who were dating.

• Don’t rush major financial decisions.

The priority after a death should be keeping the household stable — paying for housing, utilities, food and transportation and maintaining income. Experts say many larger financial decisions can wait.

The Thrivent survey said taking it slow is especially important because many widows make immediate financial changes after their spouse’s death. In the survey, 68 percent said they made changes, including cutting nonessential spending or withdrawing retirement savings to cover expenses.

The goal isn’t for both spouses to become financial experts, Rothwell said. It’s to make sure either person could step in during an emergency.

For Scheer, learning about credit and financial management was intimidating at first. Now, she said, she understands how to build and maintain her credit and isn’t afraid to use it. Her advice to others is simple: be curious.

“You shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions,” Scheer said. “It’s OK to go … say, ‘I need you to explain to me why this is the way it is.’ ”